5 Love Lessons

Every two months I look forward to receiving the latest issue of Psychology Today which highlights articles about best practice applications for professionals and healthy living tips for interested readers.   An article entitled “Five Love Lessons from Same-Sex Couples” was listed on the most recent front cover.

John Gottman, a leading couples’ therapy expert, who leads numerous workshops for therapists was frequently quoted in the article which highlighted several nuances that same-gender couples apply in their marriages/partnerships that heterosexual couples can learn from.   I strongly encourage you to review the article by Hara Estroff Marano for greater details (clients can find copies of this edition in the waiting room!) of the five highlighted lessons below:

1.       Create Fluid Roles (equitable division of responsibilities)

2.       Sexual Experimenting is a Good Thing (couples have greater permission to seek, discuss and request exploration in the bedroom with their partner often resulting in mutual satisfaction.

3.       Keep Calm Amid Conflict (issues are presented in a positive manner with a commitment to negotiate fairly)

4.       Deal with Being Surrounded by Attractive Others (which adds depth to trusted friendships that support the couple)

5.       Allow for Breathing Room When It Comes to Money, Family and Maybe Even Sex

Having cheered on several same-gender couples who have opted to get married in the past year as more US states endorse gay marriage, it remains a privilege to assist married couples (heterosexual or same-gender) keep their vows intact, negotiate through challenges, and behave like they were first in love.

Having worked with dozens of heterosexual and same-gender couples for the past twenty years, I really enjoyed the article’s emphasis on direct communication and negotiation, key components to successful outcomes in couples therapy.  Contact me at dnelson@ftlcfit.com or 954 789 9061 with additional questions or to inquire about therapy services at FTLCFIT.  

Developing Reliable Friends

I'm honored to present a workshop on the Topic of Developing Reliable Friends at Sun Serve on Friday, February 27th at 6:30 PM.

Crystal meth use for most gay and bi men also involves the “party and play” sex scene in which friendships are about getting naked and using drugs together.   Stopping crystal meth use often involves changing the circle of friends; that task is a challenge for a person of any age.

This seminar will address how to establish friendships that are not based on sex or on using drugs together, how to develop a set of friends that support your non-use, and qualities to look for in prospective allies and confidantes in your drug-free lifestyle.

Crystalize Life After Breaking Up with Tina

Neil Sedaka sang “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” decades ago, and many men face a combination of financial challenges, social adjustments, career changes and new relationships when letting go of crystal meth use.   Obtaining several consecutive months of clean time may feel overwhelming, and many men report getting high again in spite of all the best intentions to stop using.

This group is not centered on how you got there, but HOW the group members will break away from the vicious cycle of drug use consequences, and whom will truly be supportive of choosing drug free living.  Engaging in recovery groups such as Crystal Meth Anonymous is strongly encouraged to supplement group participation.

Crystal meth use for most gay and bi men also involves the “party and play” sex scene.   The group will address how to establish friendships that are not based on sex or on using drugs together, how to create a fun and healthy sexual relationship with a partner, and how to develop a set of friends that support your break up with Tina.

Should you know someone that is considering stopping the problems associated with using crystal meth, please share this flyer.   The cost of attending is $30 per group and is limited to six members.  Contact me at dnelson@ftlcfit.com or 954 789 9061 should you wish to schedule an assessment for enrollment.  Group begins on Monday, March 2nd.

PDF Group flyer