Recommendations for Coping Well During the COVID 19 Pandemic

For Couples:

Collaboration:  As challenges emerge within your home, joint decision-making is crucial.  You and your spouse are the co-owners of your family business, and each of you will have portions of duties related to being CFO, Chief Technology Officer (which may get delegated to a smart teen), Head Chef, Chief Environment Officer, Classroom Teacher for those with younger children, School Principal for those with
teenagers, and Chief People Officer trying to keep everyone safe and happy.  Carve out a few minutes each day independent from children overhearing to check-in on how each of you are doing with the assigned duties.

Establish routines:  Understand and respect each other’s work schedules; consider a large calendar with markers to show what times your spouse is truly unavailable.

Embrace Space:  If you have not done so by now, ensure you each have your own “office” and your children have their own “play spaces.”

Avoid Pushing for Sexual Intimacy :  Stress hampers libido in 85% of adults.  When you feel interested, then
create a safe and nurturing environment with no strings attached to see if the desire is mutual. 
Focus on Small Blessings:  Gratitude is essential for experiencing hope.  Thank your spouse for how s/he
contributed to the day going well.  Don’t have meals in front of the TV, but rather share a meal talking together as a couple keeping the conversation focused on our blessings and how we are helping each other

Strategies when Unsafe:  If you have been a victim of domestic violence, no quarantine is more important than your health. Local resources are available through Broward County’s Women in Distress 954 761 1133.

For Parents:

Create a Plan:  Be clear with your kids about the local guidelines about what’s allowed and what’s not including curfews, off limits spaces like pools and gyms, wearing masks if helping with errands,
and the risks associated with sharing sports equipment and toys with friends who don’t live with you.

Make it Fun:  Board games, card games, rotate who chooses a movie or program for everyone to watch and discuss, take a family hike or bicycle trip

Keep Kids Close:  You can hug those you are living with; those are the only people that your kids can hug right now, so your affection and reinforcement of comfort is critical.  Depending upon their age and level of responsibility, decide whether to have children accompany you to a grocery store or pharmacy

Be Honest with Your Children:  Communicate about the facts of the situation.  For middle school and high school students, consider watching the local news together and then discuss as a family .  Let children
express their feelings and comfort them when expressing worry or sadness.

Give Kids Control:  Give kids choices about what game to play what song to sing, what meal to cook together,

Read Books:  This is not the best time for scary books, but uplifting, fun books and those whose storylines are encouraging and uplifting.

Let Kids Help:  Delegating cleaning chores, and cleaning up after pets are a wonderful way to teach responsibility.  Teenagers are likely to embrace showing compassion, particularly for grandparents, other families in need, and their close friends.  Find the balance with being creative and helpful whole staying physically safe.

Be Patient:  Sometimes children regress; those who may have successfully moved forward in stages of development may regress to bed wetting, aggression, obstinance, or screaming uncontrollably.   This will test your patience; if you are fortunate to have a spouse or partner who shares the home, collaborate together.

For Singles:
This is the time when people learn the depth of friendships   Allies are people that you rely on during difficult circumstances.   Confidantes are persons that you entrust with difficult emotions or decisions such that you will typically accept their feedback and still apply the constructive criticism. 

Outside of work hours, please engage with social opportunities online:  Zoom gatherings, discussion groups related to or having nothing to do with COVID 19, online recovery meetings are examples of great outlets. 

Keep updated with CDC guidelines related to sheltering at home, symptomology of COVID v allergies v flu v colds, wearing of masks and gloves outside of home, social distancing recommendations, and local guidelines about accessing businesses and recreational activities. 

Without recommending anyone turn into a hoarder, ensure you have 2 – 3 weeks of food and supplies should
local authorities further restrict options for leaving our homes.  In this area, we have often withstood several
days at home without power post hurricanes; this time we have access to our refrigerators, our ovens, our microwaves, our washers and dryers, our crock pots, our laptops and our cell phones.  This is a great time to practice your cooking or baking skills.

Build those endorphins:  go outside for a bike ride or run, practice yoga, do some calisthenics (push ups, abs, burpees, etc.)

I’m old enough to remember the marketing phrase, “Long distance is the next best thing to being there.”  Choose supportive family members and friends (likely meeting the criteria for allies and confidantes) to speak with by phone for encouragement, for sharing funny stories and coping strategies, and to
affirm that you are managing your COVID response. 

For those of you under the age of 50, the late 1970’s & early 1980’s was a period in history in which HIV and AIDS first became prevalent.  Single persons had to make decisions about risk factors associated with romantic expression and the use of condoms skyrocketed to reduce risk of becoming HIV Positive.  With COVID 19, a hug, a kiss and any form of touch can spread this virus.  Many of us are hopeful that we can return to “normal” in the next few weeks.  For now, I encourage you to be extremely cautious about making any exceptions for intimacy.